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A Midsummer Night's Dream: Act 1, Scene 2

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           Enter QUINCE the carpenter, and SNUG
           the joiner, and BOTTOM the weaver, and
           FLUTE the bellows-mender, and SNOUT
           the tinker, and STARVELING the tailor.






      QUINCE
  1   Is all our company here?

      BOTTOM
  2   You were best to call them generally, man by man,
  3   according to the scrip.

      QUINCE
  4   Here is the scroll of every man's name, which is
  5   thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our
  6   interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his
  7   wedding-day at night.

      BOTTOM
  8   First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats
  9   on, then read the names of the actors, and so grow
 10   to a point.

      QUINCE
 11   Marry, our play is, "The most lamentable comedy,
 12   and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisby."

      BOTTOM
 13   A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a
 14   merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your
 15   actors by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves.

      QUINCE
 16   Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the
 17   weaver.

      BOTTOM
 18   Ready. Name what part I am for, and
 19   proceed.

      QUINCE
 20   You, Nick Bottom, are set down for
 21   Pyramus.

      BOTTOM
 22   What is Pyramus? a lover, or a tyrant?

      QUINCE
 23   A lover, that kills himself most gallant
 24   for love.

      BOTTOM
 25   That will ask some tears in the true performing of
 26   it: if I do it, let the audience look to their
 27   eyes; I will move storms, I will condole in some
 28   measure. To the rest — yet my chief humor is for a
 29   tyrant. I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to
 30   tear a cat in, to make all split.
 31         "The raging rocks
 32         And shivering shocks
 33         Shall break the locks
 34              Of prison gates;
 35         And Phibbus' car
 36         Shall shine from far
 37         And make and mar
 38              The foolish Fates."
 39   This was lofty! Now name the rest of the players.
 40   This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein; a lover is
 41   more condoling.

      QUINCE
 42   Francis Flute, the bellows-mender.

      FLUTE
 43   Here, Peter Quince.

      QUINCE
 44   Flute, you must take Thisby on you.

      FLUTE
 45   What is Thisby? a wand'ring knight?

      QUINCE
 46   It is the lady that Pyramus must love.

      FLUTE
 47   Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have
 48   a beard coming.

      QUINCE
 49   That's all one: you shall play it in a mask, and
 50   you may speak as small as you will.

      BOTTOM
 51   An I may hide my face, let me play Thisby too, I'll
 52   speak in a monstrous little voice. "Thisne,
 53   Thisne!" "Ah, Pyramus, lover dear! thy Thisby dear,
 54   and lady dear!"

      QUINCE
 55   No, no; you must play Pyramus: and, Flute, you
 56   Thisby.

      BOTTOM
 57   Well, proceed.

      QUINCE
 58   Robin Starveling, the tailor.

      STARVELING
 59   Here, Peter Quince.

      QUINCE
 60   Robin Starveling, you must play Thisby's mother.
 61   Tom Snout, the tinker.

      SNOUT
 62   Here, Peter Quince.

      QUINCE
 63   You, Pyramus' father: myself, Thisby's father:
 64   Snug, the joiner; you, the lion's part: and, I
 65   hope, here is a play fitted.

      SNUG
 66   Have you the lion's part written? pray you, if it
 67   be, give it me, for I am slow of study.

      QUINCE
 68   You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but
 69   roaring.

      BOTTOM
 70   Let me play the lion too: I will roar, that I will
 71   do any man's heart good to hear me; I will roar,
 72   that I will make the duke say "Let him roar again,
 73   let him roar again."

      QUINCE
 74   An you should do it too terribly, you would fright
 75   the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek;
 76   and that were enough to hang us all.

      ALL
 77   That would hang us, every mother's son.

      BOTTOM
 78   I grant you, friends, if that you should fright the
 79   ladies out of their wits, they would have no more
 80   discretion but to hang us: but I will aggravate my
 81   voice so that I will roar you as gently as any
 82   sucking dove; I will roar you an 'twere any
 83   nightingale.

      QUINCE
 84   You can play no part but Pyramus; for
 85   Pyramus is a sweet-faced man; a proper
 86   man as one shall see in a summer's day;
 87   a most lovely gentleman-like man: therefore
 88   you must needs play Pyramus.

      BOTTOM
 89   Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best
 90   to play it in?

      QUINCE
 91   Why, what you will.

      BOTTOM
 92   I will discharge it in either your straw-color
 93   beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain
 94   beard, or your French-crown-color beard, your
 95   perfect yellow.

      QUINCE
 96   Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and
 97   then you will play bare-faced. But, masters, here
 98   are your parts: and I am to entreat you, request
 99   you and desire you, to con them by tomorrow night;
100   and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the
101   town, by moonlight; there will we rehearse, for if
102   we meet in the city, we shall be dogged with
103   company, and our devices known. In the meantime I
104   will draw a bill of properties, such as our play
105   wants. I pray you, fail me not.

      BOTTOM
106   We will meet; and there we may rehearse most
107   obscenely and courageously. Take pains; be perfect:
108   adieu.

      QUINCE
109   At the duke's oak we meet.

      BOTTOM
110   Enough; hold or cut bow-strings.

           Exeunt.