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A Midsummer Night's Dream: Act 3, Scene 1

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           Enter the Clowns [QUINCE, SNUG, BOTTOM,
           FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING].

      BOTTOM
  1   Are we all met?

      QUINCE
  2   Pat, pat; and here's a marvailes convenient
  3   place for our rehearsal. This green plot shall
  4   be our stage, this hawthorn-brake our tiring-
  5   house; and we will do it in action as we will
  6   do it before the duke.

      BOTTOM
  7   Peter Quince,—

      QUINCE
  8   What sayest thou, bully Bottom?

      BOTTOM
  9   There are things in this comedy of Pyramus and
 10   Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must
 11   draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies
 12   cannot abide. How answer you that?

      SNOUT
 13   By'r lakin, a parlous fear.

      STARVELING
 14   I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is
 15   done.

      BOTTOM
 16   Not a whit: I have a device to make all well.
 17   Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to
 18   say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that
 19   Pyramus is not killed indeed; and, for the more
 20   better assurance, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not
 21   Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver: this will put them
 22   out of fear.

      QUINCE
 23   Well, we will have such a prologue; and it shall be
 24   written in eight and six.

      BOTTOM
 25   No, make it two more; let it be written in eight and
 26   eight.

      SNOUT
 27   Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?

      STARVELING
 28   I fear it, I promise you.

      BOTTOM
 29   Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves: to
 30   bring in—God shield us!—a lion among ladies, is a
 31   most dreadful thing; for there is not a more fearful
 32   wild-fowl than your lion living; and we ought to
 33   look to 't.

      SNOUT
 34   Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a
 35   lion.

      BOTTOM
 36   Nay, you must name his name, and half his face
 37   must be seen through the lion's neck: and he
 38   himself must speak through, saying thus, or to the
 39   same defect,—"Ladies,"—or "Fair-ladies—I would
 40   You,"—wish or "I would request you,"—or "I
 41   would entreat you,—not to fear, not to tremble: my
 42   life for yours. If you think I come hither as a lion,
 43   it were pity of my life: no I am no such thing; I
 44   am a man as other men are;" and there indeed let him
 45   name his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug the
 46   joiner.

      QUINCE
 47   Well it shall be so. But there is two hard things;
 48   that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber;
 49   for, you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by
 50   moonlight.

      SNOUT
 51   Doth the moon shine that night we play our
 52   play?

      BOTTOM
 53   A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac; find
 54   out moonshine, find out moonshine.

      QUINCE
 55   Yes, it doth shine that night.

      BOTTOM
 56   Why, then may you leave a casement of the great
 57   chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon
 58   may shine in at the casement.

      QUINCE
 59   Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns
 60   and a lanthorn, and say he comes to disfigure, or to
 61   present, the person of Moonshine. Then, there is
 62   another thing: we must have a wall in the great
 63   chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby says the story,
 64   did talk through the chink of a wall.

      SNOUT
 65   You can never bring in a wall. What say you,
 66   Bottom?

      BOTTOM
 67   Some man or other must present Wall: and let him
 68   have some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast
 69   about him, to signify wall; and let him hold his
 70   fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus
 71   and Thisby whisper.

      QUINCE
 72   If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down,
 73   every mother's son, and rehearse your parts.
 74   Pyramus, you begin: when you have spoken your
 75   speech, enter into that brake: and so every one
 76   according to his cue.

           Enter ROBIN [PUCK, behind].

      PUCK
 77   What hempen home-spuns have we swagg'ring here,
 78   So near the cradle of the fairy queen?
 79   What, a play toward! I'll be an auditor;
 80   An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause.

      QUINCE
 81   Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.

      BOTTOM
 82   "Thisby, the flowers of odious savours sweet,—

      QUINCE
 83   Odours, odours.

      BOTTOM
 84   —"odours savours sweet"—
 85   So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear.
 86   But hark, a voice! stay thou but here awhile,
 87   And by and by I will to thee appear."

           Exit.

      PUCK
 88   A stranger Pyramus than e'er played here.

           [Exit.]

      FLUTE
 89   Must I speak now?

      QUINCE
 90   Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand
 91   he goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to
 92   come again.

      FLUTE
 93   "Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
 94   Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier,
 95   Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew,
 96   As true as truest horse that yet would never tire,
 97   I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb."

      QUINCE
 98   "Ninus' tomb," man: why, you must not speak that
 99   yet; that you answer to Pyramus: you speak all your
100   part at once, cues and all. Pyramus enter: your cue
101   is past; it is, "never tire."

      FLUTE
102   O,—"As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire."

           [Enter PUCK, and BOTTOM with an ass's head.]

      BOTTOM
103   "If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine."

      QUINCE
104   O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted. Pray,
105   masters! fly, masters! Help!

           [Exeunt QUINCE, SNUG, FLUTE, SNOUT,
           and STARVELING.]

      PUCK
106   I'll follow you, I'll lead you about a round,
107   Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
108   Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,
109   A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
110   And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
111   Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.

           Exit.

      BOTTOM
112   Why do they run away? this is a knavery of them
113   to make me afeard.

           Enter SNOUT.

      SNOUT
114   O Bottom, thou art changed! what do I see on
115   thee?

      BOTTOM
116   What do you see? you see an asshead of your
117   own, do you?

           [Exit SNOUT.]

           Enter QUINCE.

      QUINCE
118   Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art
119   translated.

           Exit.

      BOTTOM
120   I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me;
121   to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir
122   from this place, do what they can: I will walk up
123   and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear
124   I am not afraid.

           [Sings.]

125       The woosel cock so black of hue,
126         With orange-tawny bill,
127       The throstle with his note so true,
128         The wren with little quill,—

      TITANIA  [Awaking.]
129   What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

      BOTTOM  [Sings.]
130       The finch, the sparrow and the lark,
131         The plain-song cuckoo gray,
132       Whose note full many a man doth mark,
133         And dares not answer nay;—
134   for, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish
135   a bird? who would give a bird the lie, though he cry
136   "cuckoo" never so?

      TITANIA
137   I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:
138   Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note;
139   So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
140   And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me
141   On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.

      BOTTOM
142   Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason
143   for that: and yet, to say the truth, reason
144   and love keep little company together now-a-days;
145   the more the pity that some honest neighbours will
146   not make them friends. Nay, I can gleek upon
147   occasion.

      TITANIA
148   Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.

      BOTTOM
149   Not so, neither: but if I had wit enough to get
150   out of this wood, I have enough to serve mine
151   own turn.

      TITANIA
152   Out of this wood do not desire to go:
153   Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.
154   I am a spirit of no common rate;
155   The summer still doth tend upon my state;
156   And I do love thee: therefore, go with me;
157   I'll give thee fairies to attend on thee,
158   And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,
159   And sing while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep;
160   And I will purge thy mortal grossness so
161   That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.
162   Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!

           Enter four Fairies [PEASEBLOSSOM, COBWEB,
           MOTH, and MUSTARDSEED].

      PEASEBLOSSOM
163   Ready.

      COBWEB
163                 And I.

      MOTH
163                           And I.

      MUSTARDSEED
163                                      And I.

      ALL
163                                                     Where shall we go?

      TITANIA
164   Be kind and courteous to this gentleman;
165   Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes;
166   Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,
167   With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries;
168   The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees,
169   And for night-tapers crop their waxen thighs
170   And light them at the fiery glow-worm's eyes,
171   To have my love to bed and to arise;
172   And pluck the wings from Painted butterflies
173   To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes:
174   Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.

      PEASEBLOSSOM
175   Hail, mortal!

      COBWEB
176   Hail!

      MOTH
177   Hail!

      MUSTARDSEED
178   Hail!

      BOTTOM
179   I cry your worship's mercy, heartily: I beseech your
180   worship's name.

      COBWEB
181   Cobweb.

      BOTTOM
182   I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good Master
183   Cobweb: if I cut my finger, I shall make bold with
184   you. Your name, honest gentleman?

      PEASEBLOSSOM
185   Peaseblossom.

      BOTTOM
186   I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your
187   mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good
188   Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more
189   acquaintance too. Your name, I beseech you, sir?

      MUSTARDSEED
190   Mustardseed.

      BOTTOM
191   Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience
192   well: that same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath
193   devoured many a gentleman of your house: I promise
194   you your kindred had made my eyes water ere now.
195   I desire your more acquaintance, good Master
196   Mustardseed.

      TITANIA
197   Come, wait upon him; lead him to my bower.
198   The moon methinks looks with a watery eye;
199   And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
200   Lamenting some enforced chastity.
201   Tie up my love's tongue, bring him silently.

           Exeunt.