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The Taming of the Shrew: Act 4, Scene 3

           Enter KATHARINA and
           GRUMIO.

      GRUMIO
  1   No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life.

      KATHARINA
  2   The more my wrong, the more his spite appears:
  3   What, did he marry me to famish me?
  4   Beggars, that come unto my father's door,
  5   Upon entreaty have a present alms;
  6   If not, elsewhere they meet with charity:
  7   But I, who never knew how to entreat,
  8   Nor never needed that I should entreat,
  9   Am starved for meat, giddy for lack of sleep,
 10   With oaths kept waking and with brawling fed:
 11   And that which spites me more than all these wants,
 12   He does it under name of perfect love;
 13   As who should say, if I should sleep or eat,
 14   'Twere deadly sickness or else present death.
 15   I prithee go and get me some repast;
 16   I care not what, so it be wholesome food.

      GRUMIO
 17   What say you to a neat's foot?

      KATHARINA
 18   'Tis passing good: I prithee let me have it.

      GRUMIO
 19   I fear it is too choleric a meat.
 20   How say you to a fat tripe finely broil'd?

      KATHARINA
 21   I like it well: good Grumio, fetch it me.

      GRUMIO
 22   I cannot tell; I fear 'tis choleric.
 23   What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?

      KATHARINA
 24   A dish that I do love to feed upon.

      GRUMIO
 25   Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.

      KATHARINA
 26   Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest.

      GRUMIO
 27   Nay then, I will not: you shall have the mustard,
 28   Or else you get no beef of Grumio.

      KATHARINA
 29   Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt.

      GRUMIO
 30   Why then, the mustard without the beef.

      KATHARINA
 31   Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave,

           Beats him.

 32   That feed'st me with the very name of meat:
 33   Sorrow on thee and all the pack of you,
 34   That triumph thus upon my misery!
 35   Go, get thee gone, I say.

           Enter PETRUCHIO and HORTENSIO
           with meat.

      PETRUCHIO
 36   How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?

      HORTENSIO
 37   Mistress, what cheer?

      KATHARINA
 37                                     Faith, as cold as can be.

      PETRUCHIO
 38   Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
 39   Here love; thou see'st how diligent I am
 40   To dress thy meat myself and bring it thee:
 41   I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
 42   What, not a word? Nay, then thou lovest it not;
 43   And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
 44   Here, take away this dish.

      KATHARINA
 44                                           I pray you, let it stand.

      PETRUCHIO
 45   The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
 46   And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.

      KATHARINA
 47   I thank you, sir.

      HORTENSIO
 48   Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
 49   Come, mistress Kate, I'll bear you company.

      PETRUCHIO [Aside.]
 50   Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.
 51   Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
 52   Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,
 53   Will we return unto thy father's house
 54   And revel it as bravely as the best,
 55   With silken coats and caps and golden rings,
 56   With ruffs and cuffs and fardingales and things;
 57   With scarfs and fans and double change of brav'ry,
 58   With amber bracelets, beads and all this knav'ry.
 59   What, hast thou dined? The tailor stays thy leisure,
 60   To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.

           Enter Tailor.

 61   Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
 62   Lay forth the gown.

           Enter Haberdasher.

 62                                     What news with you, sir?

      Haberdasher
 63   Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.

      PETRUCHIO
 64   Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
 65   A velvet dish: fie, fie! 'tis lewd and filthy:
 66   Why, 'tis a cockle or a walnut-shell,
 67   A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap:
 68   Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.

      KATHARINA
 69   I'll have no bigger: this doth fit the time,
 70   And gentlewomen wear such caps as these

      PETRUCHIO
 71   When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
 72   And not till then.

      HORTENSIO [Aside.]
 72                               That will not be in haste.

      KATHARINA
 73   Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
 74   And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
 75   Your betters have endured me say my mind,
 76   And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
 77   My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
 78   Or else my heart concealing it will break,
 79   And rather than it shall, I will be free
 80   Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

      PETRUCHIO
 81   Why, thou say'st true; it is a paltry cap,
 82   A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie:
 83   I love thee well, in that thou likest it not.

      KATHARINA
 84   Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
 85   And it I will have, or I will have none.

           Exit Haberdasher.

      PETRUCHIO
 86   Thy gown? why, ay: come, tailor, let us see't.
 87   O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
 88   What's this? a sleeve? 'tis like a demi-cannon:
 89   What, up and down, carved like an apple-tart?
 90   Here's snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
 91   Like to a censer in a barber's shop:
 92   Why, what, a' devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?

      HORTENSIO [Aside.]
 93   I see she's like to have neither cap nor gown.

      Tailor
 94   You bid me make it orderly and well,
 95   According to the fashion and the time.

      PETRUCHIO
 96   Marry, and did; but if you be remember'd,
 97   I did not bid you mar it to the time.
 98   Go, hop me over every kennel home,
 99   For you shall hop without my custom, sir:
100   I'll none of it: hence! make your best of it.

      KATHARINA
101   I never saw a better-fashion'd gown,
102   More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable:
103   Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

      PETRUCHIO
104   Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

      Tailor
105   She says your worship means to make
106   a puppet of her.

      PETRUCHIO
107   O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread,
           thou thimble,
108   Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
109   Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!
110   Brav'd in mine own house with a skein of thread?
111   Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant;
112   Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard
113   As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou livest!
114   I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.

      Tailor
115   Your worship is deceived; the gown is made
116   Just as my master had direction:
117   Grumio gave order how it should be done.

      GRUMIO
118   I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.

      Tailor
119   But how did you desire it should be made?

      GRUMIO
120   Marry, sir, with needle and thread.

      Tailor
121   But did you not request to have it cut?

      GRUMIO
122   Thou hast fac'd many things.

      Tailor
123   I have.

      GRUMIO
124   Face not me: thou hast brav'd many men; brave not
125   me; I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto
126   thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did
127   not bid him cut it to pieces: Ergo, thou
128   liest.

      Tailor
129   Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify
130   testify.

      PETRUCHIO
131   Read it.

      GRUMIO
132   The note lies in's throat, if he say I said
133   so.

      Tailor [Reads.]
134   "Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown" —

      GRUMIO
135   Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in
136   the skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom
137   of brown thread: I said a gown.

      PETRUCHIO
138   Proceed.

      Tailor [Reads.]
139   "With a small compass'd cape" —

      GRUMIO
140   I confess the cape.

      Tailor [Reads.]
141   "With a trunk sleeve" —

      GRUMIO
142   I confess two sleeves.

      Tailor [Reads.]
143   "The sleeves curiously cut."


      PETRUCHIO
144   Ay, there's the villany.

      GRUMIO
145   Error i' the bill, sir; error i' the bill.
146   I commanded the sleeves should be cut out and
147   sewed up again; and that I'll prove upon thee,
148   though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.

      Tailor
149   This is true that I say: an I had thee
150   in place where, thou shouldst know it.

      GRUMIO
151   I am for thee straight: take thou the
152   bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.

      HORTENSIO
153   God-a-mercy, Grumio! then he shall have
154   no odds.

      PETRUCHIO
155   Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.

      GRUMIO
156   You are i' the right, sir: 'tis for my mistress.

      PETRUCHIO
157   Go, take it up unto thy master's use.

      GRUMIO
158   Villain, not for thy life: take up my mistress'
159   gown for thy master's use!

      PETRUCHIO
160   Why, sir, what's your conceit in that?

      GRUMIO
161   O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for:
162   Take up my mistress' gown to his master's use!
163   O, fie, fie, fie!

      PETRUCHIO [Aside.]
164   Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
165   Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.

      HORTENSIO
166   Tailor, I'll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow:
167   Take no unkindness of his hasty words:
168   Away! I say; commend me to thy master.

           Exit Tailor.

      PETRUCHIO
169   Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father's
170   Even in these honest mean habiliments:
171   Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor;
172   For 'tis the mind that makes the body rich;
173   And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
174   So honor peereth in the meanest habit.
175   What, is the jay more precious than the lark,
176   Because his feathers are more beautiful?
177   Or is the adder better than the eel,
178   Because his painted skin contents the eye?
179   O, no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse
180   For this poor furniture and mean array.
181   If thou account'st it shame, lay it on me;
182   And therefore frolic: we will hence forthwith,
183   To feast and sport us at thy father's house.
184   Go, call my men, and let us straight to him;
185   And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;
186   There will we mount, and thither walk on foot
187   Let's see; I think 'tis now some seven o'clock,
188   And well we may come there by dinner-time.

      KATHARINA
189   I dare assure you, sir, 'tis almost two;
190   And 'twill be supper-time ere you come there.

      PETRUCHIO
191   It shall be seven ere I go to horse:
192   Look, what I speak, or do, or think to do,
193   You are still crossing it. Sirs, let't alone:
194   I will not go today; and ere I do,
195   It shall be what o'clock I say it is.

      HORTENSIO [Aside.]
196   Why this gallant will command the sun.

           Exeunt.

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