Much Ado About Nothing: Act 4, Scene 2
Enter the Constables [DOGBERRY and
VERGES] and the Town Clerk [or SEXTON]
gowns: i.e., robes of office, like judges' robes.
in gowns, [and the WATCH with CONRADE
and] BORACHIO.
DOGBERRY
1. dissembly: malapropism for "assembly."
1 Is our whole dissembly appeared?
VERGES
2 O, a stool and a cushion for the sexton.
Sexton
3 Which be the malefactors?
DOGBERRY
4. Marry, that am I and my partner: —Dogberry apparently thinks that "malefactors" are important officers of the court.
5-6. exhibition to examine: —Maybe Verges thinks he means, "we have the commission (legal appointment) to conduct the examination."
5-6. exhibition to examine: —Maybe Verges thinks he means, "we have the commission (legal appointment) to conduct the examination."
4 Marry, that am I and my partner.
VERGES
5 Nay, that's certain; we have the exhibition 6 to examine.
Sexton
7 But which are the offenders that are to be 8 examined? let them come before master constable.
DOGBERRY
9 Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your 10 name, friend?
BORACHIO
11 Borachio.
DOGBERRY
12. sirrah: —This is a form of address for social inferiors. Conrade is not Dogberry's social inferior, and corrects Dogberry, saying "I am a gentleman, sir."
12 Pray, write down, Borachio. Yours, sirrah?
CONRADE
13 I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is 14 Conrade.
DOGBERRY
15 Write down, master gentleman Conrade. Masters, 16. do you serve God?: i.e., do you obey God's laws?
16 do you serve God?
Both [CONRADE, BORACHIO]
17 Yea, sir, we hope.
DOGBERRY
18 Write down, that they hope they serve God: and19. defend: forbid.
20-22. it is proved already . . . it will go near to be thought so shortly: Dogberry has the normal (and legal) sequence backwards. Suspicion ("to be thought so") normally precedes proof. 22. go near to: almost.
20-22. it is proved already . . . it will go near to be thought so shortly: Dogberry has the normal (and legal) sequence backwards. Suspicion ("to be thought so") normally precedes proof. 22. go near to: almost.
19 write God first; for God defend but God should go 20 before such villains! Masters, it is proved already 21 that you are little better than false knaves; and it 22 will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer 23 you for yourselves?
CONRADE
24 Marry, sir, we say we are none.
DOGBERRY
25. witty: clever, cunning.
25 A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you: but I
26. go about with: get the better of, outmaneuver.
27. a word in your ear: i.e., a private hint or warning.
27. a word in your ear: i.e., a private hint or warning.
26 will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah; 27 a word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is thought 28 you are false knaves.
BORACHIO
29 Sir, I say to you we are none.
DOGBERRY
30 Well, stand aside. 'Fore God, they are31. in a tale: agreed on the same lie.
31 both in a tale. Have you writ down, that 32 they are none?
Sexton
33 Master constable, you go not the way to 34 examine: you must call forth the watch that 35 are their accusers.
DOGBERRY
36. eftest: easiest, quickest.
36 Yea, marry, that's the eftest way. Let the watch 37 come forth. Masters, I charge you, in the prince's 38 name, accuse these men.
First Watch
39 This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince's 40 brother, was a villain.
DOGBERRY
41 Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is 42. perjury: —Dogberry apparently thinks that "perjury" means "slander." Also, although Dogberry thinks that to call the prince's brother a villain is an obvious lie ("flat perjury"), the truth is that Prince John is a villain.
42 flat perjury, to call a prince's brother villain.
BORACHIO
43 Master constable,—
DOGBERRY
44. Pray thee, fellow, peace: i.e., please, buddy, shut up.
44 Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look, 45 I promise thee.
Sexton
46 What heard you him say else?
Second Watch
47 Marry, that he had received a thousand 48 ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady 49 Hero wrongfully.
DOGBERRY
50. burglary: —This is a double malapropism. Dogberry thinks "burglary" means "perjury," which he thinks is the same as "slander."
50 Flat burglary as ever was committed.
VERGES
51 Yea, by mass, that it is.
Sexton
52 What else, fellow?
First Watch
53-54. upon his words: on the basis of what he said.
53 And that Count Claudio did mean, upon 54 his words, to disgrace Hero before the 55 whole assembly. and not marry her.
DOGBERRY
56 O villain! thou wilt be condemned into 57. redemption: He means the opposite, "damnation."
57 everlasting redemption for this.
Sexton
58 What else?
[First and Second] Watch
59 This is all.
Sexton
60 And this is more, masters, than you can deny. 61 Prince John is this morning secretly stolen 62. in this manner: i.e., just as First Watch reported.
63. refused: renounced.
63. refused: renounced.
62 away; Hero was in this manner accused, in 63 this very manner refused, and upon the grief 64 of this suddenly died. Master constable, let 65 these men be bound, and brought to Leonato's:
66. examination: i.e., the written report of their interrogation.
66 I will go before and show him their examination.
[Exit.]
[DOGBERRY]
67. opinion'd: malapropism for "pinioned." —Criminals were pinioned by shackling their hands or legs together.
67 Come, let them be opinion'd.
VERGES
68-69. Let them be in the hands— . . . Off coxcomb!: —Apparently Verges tries to put handcuffs on Conrade, who is insulted and tells him to back off.
68 Let them be in the hands—
[CONRADE]
69 Off, coxcomb!
DOGBERRY
70. God's: God save.
70 God's my life, where's the sexton? let him write 71 down the prince's officer coxcomb. Come, bind 72. naughty: wicked.
72 them. Thou naughty varlet!
[CONRADE]
73 Away! you are an ass, you are an ass.
DOGBERRY
74. suspect: malapropism for "respect."
74 Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not
75-76. O that he were here to write me down an ass!: —Dogberry wishes that the Sexton had been there to record, in writing, that Conrade called him an ass, so that Conrade would be sure to be punished for that offense.
75 suspect my years? O that he were here to write me 76 down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an 77 ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not 78 that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of
79. piety: malapropism for "impiety."
79 piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness.
80 I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer, 81 and, which is more, a householder, and, which is
82. as pretty a piece of flesh: i.e., as fine a mortal man.
83. go to: —This is an expression of scorn, like current expressions such as "go to hell" or "get out of here." 84-85. a fellow that hath had losses: —Dogberry thinks he should be respected because he has known hardship. 86. handsome: fitting, impressive.
83. go to: —This is an expression of scorn, like current expressions such as "go to hell" or "get out of here." 84-85. a fellow that hath had losses: —Dogberry thinks he should be respected because he has known hardship. 86. handsome: fitting, impressive.
82 more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in 83 Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a 84 rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath 85 had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every 86 thing handsome about him. Bring him away. O that 87 I had been writ down an ass!
Exeunt.